Unfolding.

Fold it all up and drive away
Save it until the end of the day

November comes around
Like the first star in the sky
And the air is thick
Condensing when I breathe
So hold my hand
And whisper with your eyes

Nation.

I am a nation

Ever hard to please

Second day going

But it'll crash like the tide

I am a people

Who turn away your good gifts

Get me out of this

I don't want to just feel anymore

Teach me to float the waves

To sail with my body

If I tell you that you're my life raft

Will you keep me from drowning?

Kind.

Is it really possible?

I feel it is

On days like this

When all I feel is faith

And reason is kind

Yet she walks beside me

A shadow

I see her though I don't want to

She's broken

With a splintered heart of steel

She's the one who's given up

Who watched as they ripped out her soul

She still holds her head high

Because He holds her through it all

But she'll never be the same

And it's because she is the same.

The same as all the rest.

Except there's a real hole

Gaping in her chest

And she stumbles to stand tall.

Every turn

Is not just a reminder

But a bleeding scar

Broken promises and bones

Littered everywhere

Like a poison

Eating at her veins

She can't forgive herself

For covering her own eyes

And looking up

Is it really possible

To watch her walk away?

I feel it is

On days like this

Oh God, help me -

Tonight.

Please sleep tonight, my friend

As I add another ticket to my collection

As you toil and wring your mind dry

And I will follow you there,

Just as my eyes followed you home -

See you tonight, my friend.

Sick.

How things have changed.

I used to feel your gaze resting on me

Yet never did I dare to lift my eyes

Paralyzed by such gentleness

Now when I look up

It's like staring into the sky

We wave a flag with each smile

And we hold it high with a wordless promise

How things have changed.

I used to splash in the creek

Used to stretch my hands to reach you

Surrendering my all

Now when I look inside

I don't know who lives there

I'm waiting for perfection, for my answer

What if this is it?

Bet you weren't ready for this.

Allow me to unfold the girl you hadn't seen.

Her deepest parts, her darkened chasms

Her soul, you'll find, is screaming

Aren't we all?

Sick.

But holding on.

Eleven.

Get this parasite out of my heart!

Someone,

GET THIS PARASITE OUT OF MY HEART!

It swells

And then it's sucked away.

I can't put you through this

Day after day.

Been remembering, been smiling

Been praying, been crying

Been plugging in those headphones

Screaming for those words to be home

What if I bleed out?

Is that how it will end, then?

Yeah, I've heard it all before.

From everyone else

From myself

Don't want to crack

When I see a shooting star

When I pass the white line

When I walk out to the mailbox

When I wake up

Fighting this poison in my blood.

Waiting until the war is won.

Different.

Her identity was a tower

Built with bricks of difference

The path came to a split

So she decided to do it differently

The tower cast its shadow

As the ground began to quake

So hard to stay in the light

But if she stepped into darkness

Down would crash the tower

Encasing her in a prison of sameness.

Streak.

Do you remember

That scintillating streak of cloud

Painted in the sky?

We called it stardust

Funny

I'd rather be lying on that pavement

Than wrapped up here

Under warm blankets

Alive.

Oh, but sometimes

Such beautiful things can come with sleep.

On the step by the cabin it is, then.

I'm heading there now

To see you

Dampened by gray and misty air

The lamps inside will be glowing

You know I haven't forgotten for a moment.

And those words haven't lost

A single fiber of their truth.

I do believe

That they remain somehow

Alive

Suspended everywhere

Ringing true throughout all of time.

Dictation.

Maybe if I don't read it

It won't have to end.

Yes, good that.

That should do the trick.

Fantasy.

I think you arrive at my doorstep

More often than you realize.

Curious.

I'm just curious
Letting my ponderings get away from me

It used to be
We'd build forts in the backyard
Watch the same movies over and over
Dream of growing up one day

Now I wake
I write out a list
Make markings throughout the day
Marvel at the change

And dream of one day.

Treehouses.

See, their treehouses were side by side
They used to dance in the grass
Time went on and they would sit in their treehouses and talk
Leaning on the windowsills
Laughter floating to the clouds
After a while they closed the windows
And just smiled at each other through the glass
Nothing needed to be said
They were watching those branches grow

Armor.

What do I do
When your eyes are the shooting stars of my universe
When you're there if I turn
When your footsteps echo mine
When you shine on me just being me

Is it us against the world
Or us against ourselves?

Unfinished.

My life is full of

Things unfinished.

Unfinished paintings on my wall.

Undelivered letters in my bag.

Incomplete drawings in my sketchbook.

Fragmented stories in my head.

So many things

I wish I could complete

But then I see unfinished photos

Hear those unfulfilled songs

And I realize

Hope has taken root in my very soul

And it's starting a riot in my veins

Not everything

Has to end.

Recording.

I reach into emptiness

I reach into shadows

I fall into a cloud

I fall and then fly

I scream into a crowd

I scream into silence

True?

She's learning a new song
She'll play it every dawn
Until it becomes true
Then she'll play it for you

Blinded.

Did you know
That sometimes blindness
Can shock the soul?
At times such a brightness descends
That your heart forgets
How to beat
And you feel
The fibers in your muscles
Ignite
Your feet hover above the ground
You can't release a breath
There goes the blood to your head
And the brain is just
Sparking
About to catch fire
So brilliant, this brightness
That everything else grows dark.

Breeze.

Life
A beautiful breeze
I swam through a tide of faces
Voices pecking at my ears
I'd smile, say hello
This face would ask my age
That one would ask my grade
I swept past an old man
We talked for one moment
And his question was
"So what's your next step?"

Never got to answer.

Mirror.

Just doing what I know to do
Suddenly, I am gone
Or am I?
I think of deep things
Staring into the sea sometimes

Steady.

They're all pulling at me

The scars are starting to bleed again

Steady my standing now

I know you will

I know you will

Rough.

Funny how that song has always seemed
Unfinished
Yeah, they went to a studio
They recorded and polished it up
But it's not perfect
Not for this girl

One day, we'll get there -
Dancing on a shaking floor
Blinded by flashing lights
And that's when we'll remember
Every previous thread
And see them falling into a tapestry.

Ephemeral.

I can feel it setting in
What if we never go back?
"That anchor doesn't move."
Oh, please be true.

Yeah, hope I can dream.
Hope I really can meet you there
Sheltered beneath wood and leaves
Warm lamplight peeking out from behind the doors

Sometimes my blood
Is transparent saltwater.

Sister.

It's you I think of
When I see the monarchs
I remember you smiling at them
And how we grew intertwined
We're climbing a wall, you and I

Hard to believe you're grown
Wish you'd drive home
We'd stay up way too late
So behind on each other's worlds
You may be on your own now
But you're never alone
Sister of mine

Paradox.

So laugh at me
If I don't wipe the stains off my shoes
Nostalgic much
This girl who writes letters in script to you

Well, I heard it in a song once
That each of us is just a time machine
Shifting back and forth in dreams
Stuck in love with all our memories

Life is a beautiful paradox.

Before It's Too Late.

So stand on the edge with me

Hold back your fear and see

Nothing is real till it's gone.

Redolent.

Don't care what these clothes smell like

I'm sleeping in them again

Because that was the closest to home

I have ever been

And I need it right now,

I need it right now.

Banal.

Up, up, up.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Stone.

You chose not to skip your heart down the stream

See how many times it would bounce

How far it would go before sinking

Instead you gave it to me

And I'm not letting go

Rope.

This carpet smells strangely new

But it's so

Old

Thinking about tomorrow

Thinking about this week

About next year

Next life

Screaming

Not going to drown

Not going to disintegrate

Not going to crumble

Not going to fall back into neat little pieces

Gonna hold onto dreams, this one is

Going to believe in six impossible things before breakfast

And until our lungs are raw:

We

Will

Make

It.

Ethereal.

I lay awake last night

Not because I couldn't sleep

But because I couldn't close my eyes

So we said it

See, in my mind

It was never going to be radical

But those words crashed through

And grabbed the wheel

Now I'm staring up at the ground

Tears falling through my hair

As I laugh

It was ethereal

"I don't like it in here; it's terribly crowded."

Well, here's

The long list of questions

What now?

Vivid.

I'm still there

Sitting on a damp porch

Washing dishes on homecoming night

Swatting smoke away from my eyes

Skipping stones across the river

"Where are we going?"

"We don't know yet."

"I'll miss you when I wake up..."

Return.

Leave the lights off

Don't want to know where I am

Don't want to illuminate this room

Don't want to be here

End.

I've put this morning away

Since we last saw stars

And I'm trying not to wake up

Please

Don't

End.

Holding.

It all started with a smile

Across a crowded foyer

Now we have one more glorious day

And I'm holding on,

Holding on.

Lucid.

I guess we've got to wash our eyes

In order to see clearly sometimes.

Few.

This is the story of every Wednesday
Already worn and waiting away
I'll wake up in a few days and it'll be that special dawn
And my first thought will be hope I don't get it wrong

Because then it will be gone.

White.

I'm going to stubbornly believe
That I can send this whisper across a few streets
And it will bring you dreams
Unlikely as it seems

Once.

Please bring sleep
It's like she said
Been on my knees every night
Please bring sleep just this time
Cause this time
It's not for me

Repair.

You can't fix everything
With just a hammer, you know
Nor can you grab your pliers
And try to pull out the sorrow

This may be news,
But some things fall apart.

Eldest.

Sometimes when you stand up straight
A few bones break along the way.

Knock.

Oh, stop shaking, love.
You should know by now
That fairy tales are real
And they knock on your door sometimes.

Nearness.

Can we fly to the moon?

We'd settle down there and watch, I think

As the universe swirled by

We'd trace pictures in the stars

Let supernovas steal our breath

And I think out there

In the brilliance of it all

We'd find ourselves

Watching.

The ground has fused with my flesh

As I look at life through an hourglass

It pours through and flips on its head

And I'm nauseous, lying here in wait

Beyond.

I fell in love tonight.

We swam through that vibrant city

And I realized

Why I'd hesitated to fall for it before.

Something wasn't quite right -

Ah, yes.

Of course.

I always knew, but I could never name it.

Somehow

I'm beyond blessed

And this is all still only the prequel.

Praise.

Head down

Hands high

Hallelujah

He is, I'm not.

Floodlights.

The air grows brisk in October

The hatch hangs open in the back

My dad and brother sitting on the edge

My feet propped up on the backseat

In your invisible shadow

The place where you should be

Always seems to be next to me

I wish I could switch it off

The aching, the longing

But that would be to switch off the world

Because you're everywhere

They had this song going before the show

Wake me up when it's all over

Funny how those words bring us back

Yet we don't want to miss a thing

Well, I missed you tonight

Out to the parking lot they carried the concert

They'd dance between the cars and sing

Run up to the highway and shout

They didn't want the show to end

Guess we're not the only ones

It would have been infinite

Had you brought eternity with you

And as we drive the long road back home,

A vibrant city waves goodbye

A chiseled green tower

A sparkling sphere on a pole

A hotel shining tides of light

But my eyes strain to make out a small red word

Suspended, it would seem, in the night

I suppose the incomplete moments

Make the complete ones worth remembering.

Blame.

There's this kid I knew

Well, I still see him around sometimes, but he's not the same you know

Saw him at church not too long ago

And it was a blow to the skull because he's grown

I knew a little boy with a squeaky voice

He talked kinda funny and was always getting into trouble

He'd sneak into his sister's room through the window

Scare the heck out of her and then run off laughing

He'd steal cookies and stuff them in his shirt

And he thought he was going to be a skateboarder for real one day

Well I saw his clone at church

But the childhood was sucked out of him

He became a twelve-year-old adult just like that

And I know what's been going on behind the scenes

Dad's leaving and Mom's always angry

I didn't think I'd see him anytime soon

He was like a ghost to me

Those brows set in stone

Eyes set straight ahead at nothing

His voice deep like my friends'

He just looked

Tired

Like someone had dealt him a sack full of bruises

They probably came as sleepless nights

Yeah, he figured out real fast

That you can't trust the ones who smile

Yeah, I know it's never over 'til it's over

And I know you're good to the core

I just can't believe we did this.

Well, never say die

Because then it happens

Yeah, I know the dreams are just that

And I know I don't really watch them grow cold every single night

But I look out to the horizon

And I see clouds turning into waves

There was a storm today and how quickly we forgot

Yet I'm still sitting here watching the lightning

I think about Skinner and how she brushed by my life

I see another girl strolling through the aisle with her aunt

There's the one who broke me, and she left with a deafening whisper

And I've got to give it all up to you every time

Because you love, and you love, and you love me

Well when I think about losing him I kill him in my sleep

And I know that's not your fault

My good God, why would I blame you?

Just tell me, why is the sound of my sister showering

Such a strident cacophony?

See, I'm learning words for the test now

There's so much at stake

Well if I drift then will it be your fault?

Or will it be mine?

That's what I'm trying to figure out

I know we committed genocide and we invented disease and we crumbled that mountain

But still he dies

Every

single

night

That I fall asleep alone.

Is that my fault?

Even though I pray in tears for it to stop?

It's all I can do

And yes you're infinite and perfect

But I just have to find someone to blame.